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V for Vendetta

Sunday, October 26, 2008

This is one of my favorites if not my favorite movies. It has been playing a lot lately on FX and I always find myself watching it. I love this movie because of the idea behind it, the idea of freedom. Freedom from a whole list of things, freedom from government, freedom from fear, freedom from a society that only conforms, and most importantly the freedom to be yourself. I love how eloquently they get this message across both in the character of V and Natalie Portman's character Eve. This movie has a lot more to offer than what you see on the surface. For me it is so relateable because of the world I live in, the country I live in, and the person I am in this society.

With all of the uncertainty that we all are feeling right now due to the economic crisis our country is facing we need hope. This is such a busy time for all of us and unfortunately it is not a good busy. Between the problems (that seem to be getting worse) and the election we will soon be facing a lot of change, and what we need as a whole is hope. We need hope bad and as of yet, I have not seen any. As much as I think Obama would help the country out tremendously it is still difficult to find hope in the short term. This is obviously a large issue and there is no quick fix, but even after the bailout plan went into effect there has not been, what seems to me as, a solid push for the good. I may seem a little naive, but this is what I know. I am not claiming to understand or know everything that is going on with our country, but regardless I know we all need hope.

Divided we fall and as always England prevails!

I Baraked the Vote

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Yesterday Amy and I went to vote in our first presidential election. I think we both pictured it in our heads as there being parades and fireworks and bands, but it wasn't quite that. None the less WE VOTED! I had a little bit harder time because there was an issue with my registration, but a good 30 min later I was stereotyped as playing video games by the lady who showed me how to use the touch system that was in place at the court house. I am glad we did and it was fun following the election and getting involved in politics. Can't wait till the 4th to watch the votes get all tallied up and hopefully see who our next president will be!

Ever been called a troll?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Well I have...by my wife...on her precious forum for girls only...and they ganged up on me...then she emailed me a picture of a troll doll and said it was me...ever had to deal with this?

Re-Evaluation

Life changes all the time, as we grow up we sometimes grow apart from people and things that were important to us. I really feel like I am just beginning my life. Amy has made so many of my dreams come true already that I am ready to live the life we want together and achieve both of our dreams. The past is just that to me now the past, and to be honest when I look back I feel like I am looking at someone else and not myself. I hold almost no ties to that person and the situations, people, and relationships that made him up. A clean slate is what I have to work with now and I am lucky enough to start working with a template of love and support that I have never had before. I really am considering changing my blog title to just say "Amy Completes Me". I know some of you know how I am feeling, but seriously Amy is beyond words. I know I am getting off subject but I don't care Amy is on my mind always and she has such a profound affect on everything I do and everything I am becoming. I LOVE this women with everything I have and the best I know how. Everyday all I want to do is please her and I would do anything for her no questions asked. My god how did I get to this place? How did I go from growing up in San Diego to now living in Dallas and sharing my soul with the only person in this world for me? Amy you will never be alone as long as you are alive I will always be with you.

I'm sorry I got off subject, but Amy is just so important to me that I have to do what I feel.

Clean slate, no crap from anyone, honesty, confidence, integrity, genuine, love...those are just some of the things I will live my life by.

Feelings of Hate

Saturday, October 18, 2008
Hate is really never a good feeling, but I find myself having some strong feelings of hate towards people and situations. This hate make me very angry and clouds my head with violent thoughts of what I would like to do to certain people and what I could do to specific situations. Obviously hate is not a good feeling to have it can turn you into someone you are not from the inside out. I wish I could vent these frustrating feelings to people. To be honest if I were to vent these feelings I might end up in jail, so for now all I can do is say "I hate you!". Sometimes I just want to go on our balcony and scream so loud just to feel better. Dealing with this is not an easy thing and I am reminded everyday of these feelings. I just wish some people would go drive of a cliff so the world would be a better place.

Best Best Friend

Thursday, October 16, 2008
It's no secret that I love my wife in fact I think I have made that very clear. I still feel like I can't express the complete extent of my love to her. This is not a bad thing in my opinion. The reason it is hard to express all of my love is because I have this feeling of extreme love and acceptance that is an infinite feeling and has me feeling the highest high any drug could give you. Every day I get to experience a true love, a love that doesn't judge but accepts and a love that cannot be destroyed no matter what was thrown at it. I adore everything about Amy. I love who she is and who she is becoming and support her in everything, and physically that's a no brainer, I love everything about her she is perfect from her head down to her toes. I am always in awe of how beautiful she is. Having a best friend like this is beyond words.

A New Look On Family

Monday, October 13, 2008
RJ + Amy = true love. That's how I feel. Being married has already been the greatest experience of my life and I know that it will continue to be. I feel very blessed to have not only found the one person that completes me in every way, but to know that I also get to spend the rest of my life with them. This has led me to think of Amy and I as a family more and more. We do not have any kids yet, but you don't need kids to be a family (we do have a dog that thinks she's the bees knees who I am not a huge fan of). Everyday we make memories that we will look back on and say "Remember when...". I love talking with Amy about "Big" family decisions, recently she brought up getting another dog. I know part of the reason is because she feels bad because Peaches is being a pain, but also because it would be OUR dog. I love dogs and have always had one until I moved out to AZ so I have to say I am pretty excited about it, but I am more excited about it because I get to share the experience with my wife.

This past Saturday we went to the Texas State Fair. The fair itself wasn't phenomenal, but the fact that I was with Amy made it fun and interesting. Although our lives haven't been so eventful lately I get a lot more out of everyday life because I get to spend it with her. I am excited to live life together and see what we do and where we go.

Love, has been on my mind a lot lately. I am experiencing love on a level I thought was only in movies and love songs. I find myself staring at Amy sometimes and just thinking "This person is the most important thing to me in the entire world", it really puts things into perspective. I don't want to see her hurt or in pain, and if she is in need I want to be there to help or provide. Good example, the first thing I did this morning after getting ready was walked to CVS to get "lady products", also known as tampons. I believe that every guy views this task differently. Some are completely uncomfortable with it and some don't care. I use to be uncomfortable and feel weird about it, but not anymore. I now walk in the store proud pick out the specified product and march up to the counter with my head held high then pay for the item. OK maybe I don't do it quite like that but it doesn't bother me. I would do anything for my wife.

Lazy Day

Sunday, October 12, 2008
This weekend has been a good one. Yesterday we went to the fair. This was my first fair in probably about 3 years. Texas doesn't have the greatest fair on earth, but it was fun none the less. I had some pretty awesome chili cheese fries and tried out a fried snickers, which looked like fried turd but still tasted ok. Today has been a day of relaxin for both me and Amy. Just been sitting around watching movies, The Office, and messign with out blogs (as I'm sure you can tell). Let us know what you think and how has every ones life been going???? Fill me in.

Doubt Can Go to Hell

Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Doubt is something I have struggled with all my life. I have doubted things as small as I doubt Mikey will eat that bug (when I was little) and as big as I doubt there is a God. One thing that has stuck with me for a long time and I believe, is that the reality you live in is directly affected by your thoughts. There is plenty to support the previous statement. We see things like the book "The Secret" which is all about positive thinking and keeping your thoughts in line with what you want, in the Bible where God tells us to dwell on only good things because this affects us (that may be off and if it is please let me know so I can change it, but I know it says something to that degree), and my high school football coaches favorite saying "You are and will become the things that occupy your mind today". Knowing this you think it would be easy to have everything you ever wanted by thinking "if I only think about this I will get it". Unfortunately we are humans, I am human. We all deal with sadness, depression, and most of us doubt more than anything. I know doubt has led to insecurity for me, and has limited my potential in numerous ways. With the love that I have in my life it is easier to stop the doubt that creeps into my head, but it is still a struggle. How do we beat doubt, is it possible to beat it completely? I am not sure if I can, but I do know that I want to be free of it. Hopefully I find my own personal way to defeat this over worthy adversary so I can break free from these limitations I place on myself.

The Ultimate War: You vs. Your Weight

Sunday, October 5, 2008
In my opinion this is a huge struggle for most people. Obesity is a huge epidemic in our country and we can blame it on what we want (fast food, high fructose corn syrup, office jobs where we don't move...etc), but it does ultimately come down to us and the choices we make with what we decide to put in our bodies. It wasn't really until high school for me that I started to notice me and my weight. I was not a large kid, but during football and wrestling it was easy to bulk up and put muscle on. It was just that after those sports had stopped and I was being lazy it was just as easy for me to put on fat rather than muscle. This is my "dilema". For me being in shape is important for two reasons. The first is looks. Everybody wants to look good and I am no different. It has become hard for both men and women who struggle with the way they look because of the portrait of perfection everywhere in the media. The second is health. I want to feel good and have energy when I wake up in the morning, I want to recover quicly if I am injured, and I want to be able to excel in physical situations.

The above was written for me to say this. I have been lazy this whole year!!!! You may or may not remember that towards the end of the year last year I was really involved in my health. I was running everyday, lifting, and eating right. To be honest I was a Nazi about it. As a result in about 5 months I lost 25 lbs and felt better than ever. My motivation came from a picture I had seen form a fishing trip and I remember thinking holy crap I look like that.

Well it was a picture again that has "woken me up" from this lazy slumber I have been in. Something needs to be done, period. This entry is serving as proclamation/motivator/hold myself accountable type announcement. I can't sit idle anymore and watch the pounds start to pack themselves on again. I am not going to attack this like I did last time where I was a complete Nazi, but I will focus on a having a committed routine of cardio and weight lifting. The real challenge for me has to do with food. I love food and I love eating a lot of it. I am going to have to work on portion control more than anything, but also work on eating healthy and cutting some things out of my diet.

As of now I believe I am about 190 or 195 (don't own a scale) and the goal is to get to 170. So this is me asking you to hold me accountable. Anything goes I don't care name calling, encouragement, or anything you can think of is fair game. I am not going to do what I did last time, which was not shave or cut my hair until I met my goal, for Amy's sake. But starting tomorrow it begins.

This was the picture that sparked the first event and it will help me through this one