Chip In
Thursday, August 28, 2008Amy found this and I think it's awesome.
Check out Amy!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
If you haven't already you have to check out Amy's blog and make sure you bookmark it. She blows me away with her writing and I know that I always cannot wait to see what she wrote about so you should do the same and read her blog!
You can check out her blog at http://amym428.blogspot.com
You can check out her blog at http://amym428.blogspot.com
"They Looked Like Strong Hands"
"This isn't who I am.
From confidence to self doubt in 60 seconds.
Storming stages and stereos from here to there,
trying to prove that I belong.
Trying to win approval from people that I don't know
I'm not larger than life, I'm not taller than trees.
Do I mean what I say? Is it just this disease where I never go home.
Never telling the truth how this life eats away.
Not admitting I'm fake
and I'm questioning whether this whole thing was worth it to die poor and all alone?"
There has been multiple times I've felt like this and I think most people can relate to it in one way or another. The things that people put themselves through (me included) to be accepted by the people around them makes me sick. Wanting to be accepted is not the problem at all, we all have that need/want, but it's when we feel like we have to break away from who we are and what we believe and buy into the current fad or trend while on the inside we feel smaller and smaller. I have been trying to figure out who I am for a long time and I feel like I almost there. I use to be a really depressed kid, and being that depression runs in my family I accepted it that much easier. I still have a day or two where I just let all my worries consume me and I don't fight back. If it wasn't for Amy I would still be in a much worse place. Love is a wonderful thing. I completely believe my blog title, "The World is a Drought when Out of Love" and I felt like I was in a drought for so long. I just find it hard to love myself sometimes and that's when I fall victim yet again to the weight of the world. Since I only have like 3 or 4 readers I know what most of you are thinking about as you're reading this, you're wondering why I have not gone to God during these times and why I don't see myself how He sees me. I am able to do that sometimes. I do believe that God has the best for you and will deliver you from the worst possible storms of your life like he said he would. Call it a lack a faith or whatever you want, but I struggle sometimes.
I let a lot of things get to me yesterday, actually I let EVERYTHING that went on get to me. I woke up feeling similar to how I felt last night which was not a good way to start my day. Although today I make a choice that I should have made yesterday, I choose to focus on love, whether it is from God or my amazing wife. Both blanket me with this unconditional love that I am so thankful for. A little side thought.....I am so lucky to have Amy as my wife. I have never experienced the love she expresses to me on a daily basis. Choose to focus on Love, it makes things better.
I feel better now that I got that out. This was by no means an edgy blog, but I could see how it might put somewhat of a bad taste in your mouth so if I made you upset I'm sorry, but this is how I feel.
From confidence to self doubt in 60 seconds.
Storming stages and stereos from here to there,
trying to prove that I belong.
Trying to win approval from people that I don't know
I'm not larger than life, I'm not taller than trees.
Do I mean what I say? Is it just this disease where I never go home.
Never telling the truth how this life eats away.
Not admitting I'm fake
and I'm questioning whether this whole thing was worth it to die poor and all alone?"
There has been multiple times I've felt like this and I think most people can relate to it in one way or another. The things that people put themselves through (me included) to be accepted by the people around them makes me sick. Wanting to be accepted is not the problem at all, we all have that need/want, but it's when we feel like we have to break away from who we are and what we believe and buy into the current fad or trend while on the inside we feel smaller and smaller. I have been trying to figure out who I am for a long time and I feel like I almost there. I use to be a really depressed kid, and being that depression runs in my family I accepted it that much easier. I still have a day or two where I just let all my worries consume me and I don't fight back. If it wasn't for Amy I would still be in a much worse place. Love is a wonderful thing. I completely believe my blog title, "The World is a Drought when Out of Love" and I felt like I was in a drought for so long. I just find it hard to love myself sometimes and that's when I fall victim yet again to the weight of the world. Since I only have like 3 or 4 readers I know what most of you are thinking about as you're reading this, you're wondering why I have not gone to God during these times and why I don't see myself how He sees me. I am able to do that sometimes. I do believe that God has the best for you and will deliver you from the worst possible storms of your life like he said he would. Call it a lack a faith or whatever you want, but I struggle sometimes.
I let a lot of things get to me yesterday, actually I let EVERYTHING that went on get to me. I woke up feeling similar to how I felt last night which was not a good way to start my day. Although today I make a choice that I should have made yesterday, I choose to focus on love, whether it is from God or my amazing wife. Both blanket me with this unconditional love that I am so thankful for. A little side thought.....I am so lucky to have Amy as my wife. I have never experienced the love she expresses to me on a daily basis. Choose to focus on Love, it makes things better.
I feel better now that I got that out. This was by no means an edgy blog, but I could see how it might put somewhat of a bad taste in your mouth so if I made you upset I'm sorry, but this is how I feel.
Phone Numbers
Friday, August 22, 2008
So for the millionth time I have lost my phone numbers. My phone was being a butt and I had to update it and lost EVERYTHING. If you could be a pal and get me your number (if you think I'm worthy of it) that would be great.
Thanks!
PS - you can email it to me at rj@rjmccollam.com or you can text it to me or call me at 602-228-7291
Thanks!
PS - you can email it to me at rj@rjmccollam.com or you can text it to me or call me at 602-228-7291
Today Marks 1 Month
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Today marks mine and Amy's first month together. It seems like this past month has gone by so fast, but at the same time it feels like it has been a long one. I think it only feels long becuase so much has changed in such a short period of time. We have started our lives together and things have been so great and I know will continue to be great. I feel so lucky and definitely blessed to have Amy as my wife. I have read about love, seen it portrayed in movies, and heard it sang about in hundreds of songs, but never until Amy did I realize how love is such an amazing thing. For me to know that one person accepts me for who I really am, and who LOVES me for who I am is amazing. I've waited 21 years to find my best friend and the love of my life. I thank God that I found her sooner than most people do. Sitting here I am replaying the past month and it's all smiles for me. As usual I feel a little scatter-brained which leads me to be less elegant than I would like to (Amy is the writer in the family).
Amy,
You are more than any husband could ever ask for. The love and compassion you have and show for me means the world to me. You surprise me everyday and always make me laugh. I have never met anyone like you and know that I never will again. You are my wife, my best friend, and my partner in life. I will always be here loving you and trying to be the best for you, cause you deserve nothing but that. I love you for all the little things you do and I feel complete and happier than I thought I ever could be. Thank you for letting me be married to you. I am so proud and honored to be your husband.
I love you
Amy,
You are more than any husband could ever ask for. The love and compassion you have and show for me means the world to me. You surprise me everyday and always make me laugh. I have never met anyone like you and know that I never will again. You are my wife, my best friend, and my partner in life. I will always be here loving you and trying to be the best for you, cause you deserve nothing but that. I love you for all the little things you do and I feel complete and happier than I thought I ever could be. Thank you for letting me be married to you. I am so proud and honored to be your husband.
I love you
It's like having Mick in your corner....only better
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
What is there to say except marrying Amy has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. Married life is great. It's also very life changing. Getting married is taking two lives and bringing them together as one (in case you didn't know already). The man is the provider. As of lately I have been really frustrated about how I am playing my role of "bread winner" in the marriage and I have had a hard time not thinking about it.
I said that to get at this. I was sitting here (while I am suppose to be making phone calls) thinking about my out of this world wife and just focusing on how encouraging and loving she has been and how much she lifts me up when I'm down. Usually I reference Rocky for some motivation to push through the hard times and keep fighting, but now I have Amy not only for motivation, but also in my corner cheering me on and supporting me 110%. It's like having Mick in your corner......only better. Each day I get these revelations of how miraculous Amy is and how much my life is better because of her. Because of her I am going to be able to push through the rest of the day and come out on top.
I said that to get at this. I was sitting here (while I am suppose to be making phone calls) thinking about my out of this world wife and just focusing on how encouraging and loving she has been and how much she lifts me up when I'm down. Usually I reference Rocky for some motivation to push through the hard times and keep fighting, but now I have Amy not only for motivation, but also in my corner cheering me on and supporting me 110%. It's like having Mick in your corner......only better. Each day I get these revelations of how miraculous Amy is and how much my life is better because of her. Because of her I am going to be able to push through the rest of the day and come out on top.
Enjoy Life
Monday, August 11, 2008
One of my good friends is constantly posting bulletins and thinking positively about goals that he has. I know he will reach them and I'm excited to see it happen, but one of his bulletins today got me thinking. It got me thinking about living life and enjoying it. My life has changed dramatically in the past month and I am so happy its ridiculous. Today I finally got back to working and a couple of times I've just sat back and thought to myself.......god I have it good. Amy wrote me the most amazing email this morning telling me how much she loved me and just building me up. Talk about starting the day off right, I started the day off better than any other day. I am SO thankful for her and EVERYTHING she does. True love is so powerful and I'm getting a little chocked up typing this right now, but I am so lucky to be so loved. There is just so much going through my head that it's hard to make sense typing it all out, but I love my wife more than anything and each day I get to wake up next to her is one of the greatest gifts God has given me. Amy you are the breath in my lungs, the push that drives me, and the one who completes me. Thank you for being you and letting me be me. I love you and it grows everyday. I am so lucky to get to spend the rest of my life with you.
The Little Things Worry Me
Friday, August 8, 2008
It feels good to be done moving. I am back in Dallas for good now. On Tuesday I flew back to Phoenix to say some goodbyes, pack up my car, and drive back to Amy in Dallas. Just getting there was interesting, thanks to some wonderful thunderstorms my flight was redirected to Las Vegas where we had to refuel and wait for the go ahead to come back to Phoenix. Luckily we weren't on the ground for to long. Not so long story short I got in at 12:30am where I found Chris sleeping on a couch in the airport waiting for me. The next morning I started packing up my car and preparing for the 15 hour drive ahead of me. It seemed like the whole day I was thinking of a bunch of little things. In the shower that morning I found myself thinking about the pound of frozen meat we had in the freezer and what we were going to do with it. I wondered what we could make with it or if it was going to be cooked and given to Peaches. Weird, I know. Throughout my drive back to Dallas it seemed like I had a couple more little thoughts. I wondered what we would wear for Halloween, what kind of friends we would make, and what type of traditions we would start as a family.