It seems like lately I have been being more "active". By active I mean going out with friends and doing things like go bowling, play some mini golf, and tear up the ping pong table at the local pub & grub. I am a pretty competitive person and I HATE to lose, seriously I HATE it! Luckily most of the time I don't have to worry cause I don't lose, but recently I have been forced to accept loses and take it like a man. This is way easier said then done in my case. It all started with bowling, me and Brian had a game going at Dave and Busters where we were pretty close the whole time we were bowling. If I remember correctly he won 1 game and I won 2. Go me! On another occasion it was the opposite, he had won 2 games and I won 1. Again I HATE losing and Brian didn't let me forgot that I had lost to him.........twice. Recently on my Tennessee trip I was forced to deal with this thing called losing once again, and unfortunately on multiple occasions. We played mini golf a couple times and 2 out of the 3 times I settled for second place (losing). My sister stomped me the first 18 holes and then my mom decided to do the same on the last 9. That was not a very good situation for me, but I think I handled it well. We also went bowling when I was out there and lost to my sisters boyfriend Nathan and my dad. Don't think that I didn't win anything though! I'm not writing about that because I need to focus on not winning all the time. This is something that I don't want to be better at because I always want to win, but I know I need to work on it cause it's not realistic for me to win all the time, but i figure it's not a long shot to hope for 95% of the time :)
Me and Brian are going to be having a little competition that will be bowling, pool, and ping pong. I look forward to being victorious and rubbing it in his face!
I have been in Tennessee visiting my family for almost a week now, which means I will be leaving soon. This turned out to be a great trip, I got to see my sister graduate from high school and am so proud of her. It feels kind of weird for me though and not because she's out of school, but it got me thinking about me and my life. I started asking questions like "what have I done with the 3 years I have been out of school?" and "am I where I want to be?". Looking back I have done a lot that is for sure, but if I were to answer these questions honestly it would have to be not much and no. I have always expected a lot from myself and usually am never satisfied with what I am doing it just feels that lately I have been stuck in a lazy unmotivated cycle of life. I spent most of yesterday just hanging around the house and spent most of the day thinking. I thought about a lot. I thought about the direction I wanted to go in, I thought about business, I thought about friends and family, and I thought about people in general. As a country and as a people that inhabit this earth we are a hurting people. Everyone has there reasons for why people live like this and most have a valid point, but I have such a heart for these hurting people, especially young adults. One of the things I was thinking of was starting some sort of group/bible study/brand to reach hurting young adults. Growing up is hard in general and during high school I think it is the hardest. I have wanted to do something to help high schoolers for a long time whether it be a youth group or whatever, but I just didn't know what I was waiting for. The seed has been planted and I am excited to explore all the possibilities God will open up. For the first time in a long time I woke up and started to read my bible. I was reading and it was like it just came clear to me that I want to do this and I should pursue different options to reach these kids.
I meant to write more about my trip, but felt like I needed to get some things out because they are such new thoughts to me it helped to write them down and as usual I had a point and then had to many thoughts come into my head so I stopped while I was ahead. Hope everyone out there realizes how awesome they are!
I ran into some of my old notebooks that I use to write in during high school and to be honest when I was reading some of the things I wrote it started to mess with me. It took me back to a time when I didn't like who I was and felt like I had no control. Granted I tried WAY to hard to write meaningful stuff and I was a little over dramatic sometimes, everything I wrote came from a real place. I know this is not good to harbor these old thoughts in my head, but like I said earlier it kind of got to me. I have done a lot of things in the past I am not proud of and have been paying for them for awhile and probably will for a little longer. I'm sure since this all started from reading some old stuff I wrote you might want to see what I was talking about so here is something I wrote on 9/11/2006:
The doctor says its day by day now and I guess that's what it's become can't tell the difference between yesterday or the day before a monotone way to live my life with no worries
No surprises just predictability for me you always say I do this to myself I guess you're right I just can't be happy until I am I will fight it to the end
Past years gone by and now it's different it's my excuse to be alone and unhappy it's my craving I can't admit to but I know is there feel bad for me I need it, show me your pity I'll take it
Someone has already said it better "just knowing this matters I just feel stronger" I'll make you my excuse and make you feel bad for not being there
I'll guilt me on you and no I wont change to me happy is just a dream and I could sleep forever and still not find it
Please don't read this and think I am a crazy person or totally depressed. I just ran across some things I wrote in the past and wasn't really ready to relive that past. I simply wrote about it on this blog to get it out.
I have procrastinated long enough about blogging so I am sucking it up and just doing it. Two weeks ago I went to Las Vegas for the very first time. It was perfect timing because I had just turned 21. I was invited by Senta and Amy who had just turned 21 too. Our birthdays are three days apart and everyone kept asking if we were twins when we were in Vegas. Apparently in Las Vegas twins are born 3 days apart and have different last names. The trip was AWESOME though, I have seen Las Vegas portrayed in movies for so long and now I was finally in Sin City. We ended up eating, walking through, shopping at, or drinking at most of the casinos. I would have to say my favorite casino was Palms. Even though it was off the strip I had the most fun there. We got to go to the Ghost Bar and the Playboy Club which was really cool. So much happened that if I was to type it all out you guys would be reading for quite awhile. Like I said before it was an AWESOME trip and probably the highlight of my birthday weekend. The picture you see above was done by Amy to commemorate our trip to las Vegas. We only got 4 minutes......... ;)
From one vacation to the next is how it has been for me lately and my next trip is to Knoxville, TN to visit my family. I leave tomorrow and am pretty excited to spend some time with my family. I am heading out there for my sisters high school graduation. It makes me feel old because it feels like I just graduated high school the other day. I'm so proud of her though and can't wait to spend time with all my family.
For life in general things are going better than ever expected. There has been a lot of changes in my life as of late so I have had my ups and downs, but now I am definitely up and so happy. I'm following the desires God has put in my heart and am already ecstatic. I feel I am following the right path finally.
I have to get back to work now so that's all you guys get for now!
A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to get baptized so I took it. It was an awesome experience. I wrote a testimony that got me to look back and evaluate my life before and after accepting Jesus into my heart. I can say that I am way more happy and am a different person because of it. It was a great experience.
Life is a funny thing. We have an idea of what we want when we are young and as we grow up it changes time and time again. Sometimes it feels like we will never get what we want and it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Lucky for me my ultimate dream came true when I married Amy. Love is an understatement when I think about my wife, she is everything to me. I never thought I would be where I am in my life right now, but I wouldn't change it for anything. New dreams are being dreamt up as a family now and the future is exciting. The unknown is now welcomed because I get to spend it with my best friend.
